You can take the GIRL out of the SEX WORK, but you can't take the SEX WORK out of the girl.

Flew off on an adventure to Sydney to work, with the hope I could work as a Tantrika, but now I'm standing around with sex workers chatting about whoring and Japan.  I worked last night at a legal massage parlor in Sydney, my first experience doing this here.  I had lived here in 1997 when I was a foreign exchange University art student.  The first sex worker I ever met probably was my roommate who also did massage and lots of drugs.  She was interesting.  So I flew here on a RT ticket for $600 through Fiji because I hadn't had much success trying to do this work in Japan. Japan had me convinced that I wasn't attractive to men and I was on a mission to find out if that was indeed true.  It wasn't, I found that out in Fiji when about ten men gravitated around me asking to dance or make out or lay down and lick me.  It was quite an interesting layover.  I didn't lay with any of them.  I didn't get a hotel room.  I thought I'd just party all night without sex.  I also was low on money because I'd invested all my money to come to Sydney to try to do Tantra Escorting work.  I haven't identified as an escort or a prostitute or sex worker for about 6 years, even though I did some phone sex occasionally and Tantra is classified as sex work by law in America, the way that I approached my clients and the work and the money had evolved I thought.  But in the last week, frustrated that I didn't have a computer to do my art work.  I saw this last minute airfare and everything inside me told me HELL YES.  So I went.  I cancelled my classes for the week because I KNEW I COULD MAKE MONEY.  It is a bred in sex worker mentality that comes from working for over seventeen years. 

 When I read that woman's post, something primal inside of me rose up and cried out, this need to fix the present.  Make it work, make. that. money.  


But things have been harder than expected.  I risked everything on this trip.  I put everything on a credit card.  I invested money that I don' t have hoping to come back with double at least.  Enough to buy a new used laptop to do much desired art and music projects.  I put up an ad ad got a nice hotel room.  No one called.  I called two different massage places and both told me NOPE.  YOU'RE NOT SUITABLE.  Finally a 3rd that I called had a woman who would give me a chance.  I was so happy because I had become desperate by this time and my self esteem was in the pitts because I had left Japan to try to see if I could still do this work outside of Asia, well, ideally I didn't want to be doing massage and fucking but by this time, I was ready to go full on into whatever for money because I was now in survival mode.  "Sure, come on in at 7pm she said."  I was SO relieved.  When I walked in to the place at 7pm, she was super nice and mellow friendly and just matter of fact about giving me my own room to work out of all night.  "Here's the pay structure, the washing machine, how the phone works and your room.  It has a little balcony.  Do you smoke?"  Wow.  Back in the game, just like that.  Phew, she didn't even care about my tourist visa.  Or verifying my age.  I'm even using the name Jenna because Tayu (the highest Oiran Courtesan in Japanese culture) the new brand identity that I wanted to choose was "too hard" to both madams that I ran it by.  Their eyebrows crinkled, even though this woman was Indian.  How about Kaya?  Kaya means body in Hindu culture.  Okay, let's use Jenna.  it's the easiest.  And voila.  I became Jenna Bie for the first time in about five years.  Most of the time I spent in my room sleeping with the radio on which is not full REM sleep, but since the shift is until 4am, and I had jogged around town all day I was tired.  I got a bunch of condoms from the cabinet and I was ready to do whatever was neccesary to break even on this trip at least.  Plus, I didn't even have money to really eat much for 3 days without any income.  But, Jenna for sure has been here before and she, if anyone knew how to get out of famine into the feast zone.  I busted last night with no clients, and I'm totally in the red zone, but it ain't over yet.  I got 3 more days. 

The Goddess Needs Her Groove Back

So she's off to Sydney for the week to work Japan.  I got a last minute wind of inspiration reading about someone else's success online in Sydney.  They worked 12 hours in a row and it worked heaps great, and she had to turn down clients because they did drugs!  Well, that's never really been a problem for me and I'd be more than happy to work 12 hours in a row doing sex or love work.  Its something like an inner craving that needs to be satisfied I think.   If you're diet for the last twenty years is men and money and you try to go for a long period of time without it, especially if that period without is less sustainable than it was in your old living, then the temptation to return back to the old you, is quite easy.  I just got tired of not having a solution and I wanted to make one.  This impulsive way of dealing with things is not always the best way and it is often the way that gets you in the most trouble so I've lived a life of calm for quite some years, not "giving in to weakness."  But when you live in a country where you can't be seen for some reason, it seems to get to the point where you need to leave town and see if you still "have it."  So I chose this $600 flight to Sydney, with a 12 hour stop over in Fiji.

What was Fiji like? It was cool. I'm sure I could spend days, weeks there for a better impression. I"m sure I could make MANY babies there. Be an English teacher or something. Ride a horse without my shirt while breastfeeding. I didn't book a hotel because I had a 5am flight out so I hung out in the sun on a rocky beach which wasn't as postcard blue as I'd wished it would be and wasn't swimmable either because of low tide. I didn't take a boat tour because I was trying to save money, but with the driver fees I didn't end up saving money at all. After sunset, I stayed up all night at the local bars and clubs and found out that I'm still attractive to men outside of Japan. They were simple islander boys. Some were fire dancers. All of them pretty handsome in various ways, the cordial part being the most important to me. It was 8 men to me. Fun. Drunk. Horny but cordial. Everyone I spent any amount of time with asked to have some form of sex with me or make out with me, including the Pentacostal Christian driver that told me that dancing and drinking was a sin in his religion. I gave him too much money to drive me around. The last cab driver wanted to drive me to the beach before the airport and lick me nicely and with my consent but I actually can't get down like that. If I was a dude maybe. Getting my dick sucked in a parked car with someone I've known for 8 minutes might be something I could do. None of them were shady, dangerous or pushy which was wonderful. Now I'm in Sydney and i'm doing my introverted thing. Alone in my room (because I actually have one tonight), online with a bottle of wine trying to figure out the week which I pray will be prosperous. at this point I am nervous.  I had one email inquiry from a client while I was in the airport, but I haven't gotten any more since then.  It's the middle of winter here, so its cold and I didn't seem to bring enough clothing.  I have just come from humid Japan so I guess I was trying to not bring a jacket.  That was probably a bad move.  I went out for dinner and it was cold.  It's always a culture shock to be in an English speaking dominant country again, because in Japan, I feel ashamed that I don't speak the dominant language there which is not English, so I try to blend in as much as possible and speak Japanese as much as I can, except when I am teaching.