A Professional Octopus

“He’s a professional pussy licker.” Sure. I thought looking at him. I actually told him before we went into the room that I didn’t want to have sex with him. But in Japan no means yes, so saying anything short of pushing someone off a bed or out the door is probably seen as a “probably.” I could have been a little drunk off of wine or high from the endorphins of being suspended from the ceiling. I went to the bathroom after being released from my suspension and the cute guy in the dress and his ugly friend cornered me in the sex room. “We want you.” he said. I had let him put nipple clamps on me at the bar so I was feeling game. Game is different than horny. Game for me is something like, “Sure. Let’s see what you are working with.” I mostly wanted to mess around with him. His ugly friend was just Wingman for the night. Unfortunately. I told him to get the German guy from the bar and we were all going to have fun. I had never been with 3 guys before and I was into first time experiences once I crossed over a certain point, I wasn’t trying to do anything that I had done before. And I certainly did not. I had NEVER IN MY LIFE TO DATE, ALLLLLL THE SEX WORK I’VE EVER HAD in 7 years had such terrible, pathetic sex. All 3 of them were silent and inexperienced, passive and meek. I felt nothing of their penises inside me and the nerd octopus sucking on my pussy was no pro, he was a vampire and I had to ask him to stop. "A professional octopus is what you meant, I believe." I've had sex with 2 guys a few times as an escort, I've tried a DP with no success twice and now this. People think group sex with penis looks like it does on Red Tube, NEWS FLASH: IT USUALLY DOESN'T. As soon as the two guys came they ditched the sex room and went upstairs to have drinks back at the bar without a word to us. Now it was me and the German guy. He had a cock ring on and he was attempting to pound me but his cock wasn’t even inside of me and I had to remind him of that fact. It reminded me of one of my dear elder clients who I’d have great energy sex with because his cock was never inside me. “I think I must have fallen out.” he’d say. Well, you were never in so, you can’t fall out. But it was before I studied Tantra, we were having energy orgasms without penetration and that felt amazing actually. Much better than this crap of 3 tools that I danced with for about 45 minutes. Most of my time was talking to the German guy. He clearly wanted to date me but, you can NOT go from the worst sex of your life, to maybe we should hang out sometime and go to a movie. It just doesn’t happen. He walked me to the train station and tried to hold my hand and i pulled it away. I really wished he would just disappear and i could go home alone and process what disgusting slobber had invaded my body temple during this experiment of Japanese culture. In all my career of sex work, I always said that there was no bad sex if at least I got paid. I just got used as a cum rag and treated like a napkin so the fact that this one guy was trying to act cordial and chivalrous was just not helping. All you can do with the worst sex of your life from #1 is just hope that there is never a #2 time. You don’t date the person and work with them and hope that it will get better over the years. NO.

The "is something" happening bar?

Sometimes i get moved to be daring. It is often a spontaneous adventure spirit that just allows me to do a lot of the things that I have ever done in my life such as when I gogo danced on New Year’s Eve dressed as a Kabuki dancer on the pole they had at the club, or whenever I need fire power to go and do something I have never done before. For a while I have been mulling on the idea of going to a sex club in Tokyo and having some random and spontaneous interaction with some people there. You never know who it will be,but as a female the advantage of being daring is that you don’t have to pay to play because having a female who is willing and able in the club is the big reason why there are so many single men there in the first place. I was freer than usual which is not to say that I was horny, i really wasn’t more than usual. I have lately been quite celibate in Japan. Attaining connection in Tokyo for this purpose has been quite a challenge for me, so I’ve almost just relinquished myself to celibacy because there just simply has not been anyone who has approached me, those that have approached me have not qualified to my standards (they’ve been gruff or too drunk, or expect me to approach them first). I’m not looking for any old sex. I got bored of Tinder and how the guys on there talk to me, so I uninstalled that app. I decided casual sex on the internet wasn’t going to be fulfilling. That night, I went to a sports bar in Tokyo to watch some winter Olympics because I don’t own a TV. I sat for 2 hours at the bar, pretending to be glued to watching Curling ( a sport where teams of 3 people clean the ice for the path of a bowling ball) for an hour, looking at the bar, reflecting on my time attempting to be social in Japan, hating how things have been working for me here. The usual, no one talks to the single girl at the bar. Even in America, if someone I don’t like is talking to me, at least I feel that I have been able to check mark the social aspect of “going out and watching the game” mission. Happening bars in Japan have been the friendliest places for me. It is amazing to see and experience what I think is “normal” bar culture, which is that I am in a place where strangers will actually strike up a conversation with me. I went to the happening bar out of frustration with the 2 hours of silence at the Sports Bar. I had imagined doing exactly what I did this night many times in my mind. I doubt that it was really about the sex but more of penetrating the Japanese underground or interacting with Japanese people that was enticing to me. It was mainly for the experience and being open to whatever might or might not happen. I was actually unattached as I usually am, anytime I leave my house in Japan. I have gone to sex parties and often not had sex, and this is part of the fun. The overt possibility is there, unlike regular bars. I remember being propositioned by a decent a very sexual swinger couple visiting Japan and seeking me as a unicorn and I really wasn’t interested. I feel like Siddhartha lately, something like being too spiritually sexually woke and so disinterested in everything. I’m not exactly seeking to get laid, I was seeking connection, I think. But just like everything else in life, when you feel things are just right, you know it. I had a few drinks and put on a sexy cos play outfit from the wall of costumes that the bar has. I was surprised it actually fit me as I tend to be too L compared to the average Japanese woman, and often larger than the average Japanese man. One of the guys at the happening bar bar was cute to me he was wearing woman’s dress outfit that showed his cute ass. He was skinny and probably weighed the same as me, but likely 3 sizes down from me. “Look at your skinny little body.” I said, grabbing his waist on either side. He was doing some negotiations for his nerdy friend who was heavier with glasses, overweight and absolutely of no interest to me. “He’s a professional pussy licker,” he kept saying to me. I looked at his unattractive awkward friend and nodded and said nothing. (to be continued)

you can't have #metoo in a country where #nomeansyes

You can’t have a #metoo movement in Japan because it would include almost every woman and girl who has been touched by the portrayal of sexual violence or who has actually been touched by someone non consensually. #toomany Everything is underreported in Japan because shame is the gag that controls the people. Losing face, pride and making waves are all things that are not inherent in the culture. Sexual violence however is. The image of women being “seduced” by sea creatures goes back as far as Edo and it is made to look erotic. These animal/tentacle seductions carry over into both modern anime and hentai porn and can still be seen on Netflix in Japan right now. The scrolls of old have octopus and courtesan sex and one could poetically interpret this as symbolic to a degree but anime and hentai pretty much leave nothing up to the imagination and it would be like saying bukkake is symbolic as Butoh, but I doubt it. It is symbolic of the misogyny and disregard of the bodies, rights and safety of women and girls of Japan. And what about American porn? Yes, that too is symbolic of the sexism and misogyny of America and Western culture. Both are problematic but the U.S version is some twenty years ahead of Japan, U.S school girls and barely legals have to be 18 or older with a 2257 ID on file! This law is enforced more strictly and unanimously agreed upon than condom use. For those of us that walked on both soils we can fairly assess that the social consciousness of Japan has suffered greatly from being closed off for so long. They are resistant to multi-cultural identities and believe that it is easier to let the government dictate their lives versus make waves. Musical street performance and smoking weed are in the same category and can send you to jail for up to 1 month or even longer for violations of the existing laws around them. Resistance is in small pockets here. Suicide is one of the forms of Japanese resistance and it is one of the ways that people disrupt daily life here, but not for long. The steps that come before a subway or mass suicide go unnoticed and pushed out of sight and out of mind. Hushed away and pushed into the dark dirty rooms of the hikkikomori and the dying elderly. I watched a popular anime called Gantz, supposedly futuristic but clearly a reflection of the 1990s worldview of the Japanese artist and producers. The female character was beamed into existence and she was non consensually kissed by the first guy, taken to the back to be raped by another thug, rescued by the nice guy and then after her rescue sexually assaulted by a dog’s tongue, which she protested erotically to stimulate the viewers into arousal around her complete exploitation. A newer version of Gantz left out all of the aforementioned scenes, so I could fairly say that huge improvements had been made, but still nothing that resembled real strength or independence of thought. She still fell in love with the main character after knowing him for 15 minutes and died in the end fighting for the possibility of pairing up with him and her child.

Skip to another anime called “High School of the Dead” on netflix and it is a zombie genre that seems to rip off The Walking Dead except that all the female high school students in it are objectified with balloon like breasts falling out and gratuitous panty shots. I’ve seen the school girl fetish in Japan since I first got here, but I’d never seen it in full motion and watched how titillating it is designed to be. The average Japanese person does not seem to make the connection that sexualizing real high school teenagers portrayed in anime does not have real consequences for all of the actual female high school students who wear uniforms in Japan. But it does. The uniforms are not as sexy as they are portrayed and most of the young women are not as bubbly or full of falling cleavage as their counterparts. Japan doesn’t make the connection that allowing this portrayal is sexual violence, but they do take great pains to pixelate all the adult consensual porn scenes. The result is a misguided sex and repressed sexual culture. Because Japanese communication is indirect to the point of saying the opposite of what they mean to save face, this is one of the main formulas in Japanese porn. “No means yes” is about 90% of the sex that we see with Japanese women, she is protesting and saying “it hurts” “stop” “I can’t” and then she has a squirting orgasm to her own surprise! I have searched the internet for the very few Japanese women who are actually a FUCK YES, FUCK NOW, FUCK HARD. It is a rarity but there are a small few Moe Oishii is one of the few I can watch. Do a search for her. She's a Japanese porn revolutionary just because she never says no.

#itwasme #metoo

My earliest memories of violating someone’s consent were at the age of 5. I would chase this boy named Kent around the kindergarten and kiss him in front of everyone who laughed in glee at my antics. Even the teacher did not stop me. I think I even kissed this boy for show and tell one day. Perhaps because he never stood up to me, I could be seen as a bully. He never stood up for himself, he was clearly non consensual and not enjoying or reciprocating my affection. I was absolutely in the wrong and yet everyone allowed this to go on because I was a little girl predator initiating a chase on my little boy prey and not vice versa. So cute! Also, this was 1981, schools today have millenials as teachers and there would likely be a lesson on consent attached to this teachable moment squeezed in with the phonics of the day. A-A-apple, B-B-boy, C-C-consent! Fast forward to one night when I was working as an escort in LA. I was actually finishing up with a male client when I got a call from a female, flirtatious and asking if I could come by. My bisexual libido was aroused because it is so rare to get calls from women. I gave her the normal run down of my rate and she gave me her address. I threw up a peace sign to John while laughing and we joked about how much fun I was going to be having in the next hour. I drove from that client’s apartment far and deep into the San Fernando Valley. It probably took me about an hour to get to her house. When I arrived, she was noticeably drunk. There are no rules about sober consent in the sex work game for male or female clients because more than 50% of our clients are not sober, and because sex work, especially the way that I did it often followed the rules of the street, if the client made a call, they would either pay or play. My normal routine was to collect money before starting. I put my bag down while she looked at me from the couch seductively. “Can I get $250 from you please?” Her seductive eyes turned innocent and she put her finger on her cheek. “$250?” she laughed and moved closer to me. “What are you talking about?” She moved in to kiss me. I returned her passion. It was hot. I love women and women like this know this. I had spent the entire hour driving to her house thinking about how much fun it would be to fuck her even though I’d not seen her face, I was sure by the sound of her voice that she knew what she wanted and that alone was sexy enough for me given that women barely ever initiate booking of services from sex workers. When this happens, it happens about once a year and I am always more than happy to oblige with off the clock extras, kissing (i don’t usually kiss male clients) and whatever I feel like doing. I have a completely different attitude that I have with most female clients because they are like hitting gold in the sea of johns. I pulled my face away from her. “So you called me all the way over here and you don’t have any money?” I said, suddenly coming to my senses and realizing her manipulative tactics. She said nothing but kept trying to kiss me. “Who is going to pay for my time and gas?” I said pushing her gently back to the couch she was sitting on. “Don’t be mad.” she said. “Can we go back to your place and just have fun?” she said reaching for a bottle of some liquor in a green bottle. “Why can’t we just stay here?” I asked sitting next to her. “I have a roomate and she’s a fucking bitch. C’mon.” she said sliding her leg between mine. “Let’s get out of here.” At that moment, I punched out of my self employed work clock and decided that I would just fuck her for free because getting paid was going to be icing on the cake and admittedly I was feeling pretty typical “guy like” in my conquest of her body. I was going to get this pussy whether she paid me or not. She initiated my desire, after all, she would have to pay in cash or something else, I remember thinking. I drove her back to my house in LA from the Valley, another 45 minutes and rolled around in my bed with all my toys and lube and then I remember her passing out and kind of not reciprocating suddenly. I took that as a sign that she wanted to go to sleep so I pulled her naked body close to mine and went to sleep. 2 hours later at 5am before the sun rose, I felt her texting someone and then twenty minutes later rise suddenly and throw on her clothes and walk quietly down the stairs. She was clearly trying to sneak out, so I let her. I heard someone in a car pick her up and I just allowed her to go without speaking because I knew the routine as I’ve done it to many men before. That morning, however, I was that guy. It was me. I knew I fucked up but I didn’t really think too much of it actually because I felt justified in my actions still. She called me 2 days later with noticeable regret in her voice. “I-I don’t know what really happened that night. I was really really drunk. I just need to know if you have any STDs or anything.” she asked. I told her I had oral herpes and I could hear her soul just crumble. “But, I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.” I said recounting the sex acts that we did. That phone conversation and the awkward morning was the last time I would have sex with a drunk girl who was falling all over my libido. I learned that the morning after phone call from a devastated woman who felt violated was not one I ever wanted to have again. I learned about alcoholic blackout behavior through web research, how a black out means that the person has lost consciousness but is not necessarily passed out on the floor. I always thought that a blackout meant that they were passed out, not gone from being conscious in their mind. Blacked out people can get into fights with loved ones, assault people, damage property, drive cars and worse without their own body and mind’s consent and take everyone around them on a non consenting destructive ride with them if these people are not aware of the signs of this behavior. The key is that they do not and will not remember the details of the black out. I forgive myself, I really truly did not know any of this until after this night. And since the bisexual libido in me was actually something of a dude aching to get his dick sucked, until he like Aziz grew up through learning through terrible experiences what the consequences of his conquest mindset could actual be an act of violence. She was also guilty in this and hopefully will have also learned from her behavior. This is where the shades of gray come into play. No perfect victim, no perfect predator. What is required is willingness to learn, correct and forgive in copious amounts so that we can all get the sex we desire and feel absolutely good about it the morning after, a year or even a decade after.