FOSTA/SESTA equals Death

A stripper/escort friend has told me that a flood of new workers have tried to start
dancing again looking for lost revenue at all the clubs in LA, hurting the previous dancers
that were already in house’s income. This worker told me that when she tried to place an Eros ad,
what normally would have taken 24 hours was now taking one week to post up.
Usually when this kind of things happens, it doesn’t happen so fast.
Usually when this kind of thing happens, something new comes about to replace the old.  
Regrowth is necessary and inevitable. Facebook replaced Myspace.
And soon, especially after recent scandal, something will eventually overtake what seems
like the all powerful and indispensable Facebook.
But what will that be?? Sex workers are all frantically working to try to make
different things happen and come to fruition.  Will it be a copy of BP using a different name?
There is clearly a large profit and market share to be grabbed if someone can figure
out how to create something viable that circumvents the destructive frenzy.

I have been reading different groups to see if anyone has come up with an idea.  
There is a petition that is circulating around.

IT IS NOW A FEDERAL CRIME TO GIVE your sex worker friend or partner a ride to work
or receive money from them. YES. That would make you a pimp and a trafficker.

Guess what else is being made illegal? ORGANIZATIONS THAT PROVIDE HEALTH CARE
AND LEGAL SUPPORT TO SEX WORKERS THAT ARE IN DANGER.

Thats right.

Sex workers are being stripped of every resource and support system
they barely had to begin with.

In this climate sex workers are left dead. Bottom line.

Sex workers are being killed right now. Killed by being put in dangerous situations
and killed by suicide because this climate is intolerable.

The US government wants sex workers dead. https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/repealstop-fosta-now

I read this on a forum from another sex worker:

"I have just had direct, first-person confirmation that a British provider
entering the US has been detained at border control at the airport and has been
given a 10-year ban on the basis of being a SW due to being a verified
advertiser on Eros. This was clearly due to Eros , b/c as soon as her passport
was scanned, they immediately asked her "So, what's Eros for?" They had all of her Eros
info including her passport. She asked me to not mention her name, but to please get the
word out. FYI, I checked and she does not have an active ad on Eros for the US
(she wasn't going there to tour), but she does have an active ad in the UK."

Immigration is now a scary place for me because I am a visa holder in Japan.
 Any association with prostitution can get you deported. Even if it is in your past.
If you don’t advertise in 18 months then your ad become unverified apparently.
Another worker said that they were raided in November of 2017 and
that’s how this border agent got word of her Eros activity.  
But Eros is still up and running to date, so I am confused as to why,
if they were raided and records were seized then how would they be allowed
to continue operating in ways that Rentboy and Backpage were not?

We are all awaiting for someone brave enough to break through this madness
but all of us are scared
and effectively silenced because we haven’t seen something so
big and terrible like this.  
Bigger than Trump’s ugly wrinkly asshole. It’s hard to have
the usual positive outlook.
I don’t have an answer to even close this blogpost with at the moment.
It has this dark hopeless feeling, a familiar one that sinks into me,
the Grim Reaper’s hand over my little girl’s fighting spirit and desire to
change her oppressive world, but his witchy paws moved
my eye lids over my frozen in the last moment of struggle,
confirming the end and, taking my body back to his kingdom.  

Kanamara Matsuri: Not just a parade of dicks!

Kanamara Matsuri was a lot funner for me this year. I made sure I went earlier than the rest of the crowds and I saw the giant penis portable shrines that I missed last year. Last year I came really late, in the thick of the tourist crowds. I ended up getting wretchedly ill and my contact lens even ripped that day so I had to call a taxi home because I couldn’t see well enough to even take a train home and I was feeling nauseous. I was kind of a hot mess. This year I came with a new lover in my arm and a new sakura yukata that I bought for $8.50 (850 yen) at a used clothing shop on the Friday before. I was excited to wear it out, so I fixed it a totally non traditional sexy way and wore high heels with it with my bare legs showing all the way into a black triangle shaped by the other side of the robe. I could feel the eyes of Japan on me and I didn’t care. I gobbled one of my last edibles and was feeling invincible. I wished my lover was more supportive of my sexiness but it didn’t seem to impress him all that much. I thought I looked super hot, but I sent him a photo and he didn’t really show much excitement. I like for the men that date and fuck me to think I am the hottest thing in the world or at least one of the hottest things in the world. This turns me on to see that they are turned on by me. I like to even hear it in my ear. “You look so fucking hot.” I think, however he was more concerned that I was stoned more than anything which, in drug prohibition Japan anything that they don’t understand seems very edgy and crazy, including marijuana, even though I am a veteran and a pro and I know how to handle my fun. He did fuck me really well that night however so the end result was all good. Cannabis makes for great screaming orgasms, if you didn't know.

We can’t get everything we want from a person, I know this much. His dick is small but I have good orgasms and he licks me nicely. This is really important because I’ve had some terrible terrible sex in Japan that I might even still be traumatized from, like getting my pussy vacuum sucked on by an unskilled and nerdy dude that I didn’t want to have anything to do with but did (it was consensual but gross, good thing I've done so much sex work with these kinds of guys so I can recover quickly). The meaning of the Kanamara Festival is fertility and protection from STDS. This used to be a temple used by ancient prostitutes of the time. And current processions are supportive of trans women carrying the portable phallus shrine down the street in a public and open procession. It brings out other trans women and interesting folks from the Tokyo area. It's actually a very ancient tradition in Japanese culture so you can show your pictures to older people and they can't scoff at it. There were a mass of people but I still had fun and got my photos in. I met with a new group of half Japanese folks that I hadn’t hung out with before and met some new people. It was such a great turn around to the dreary months that had preceded this spring outing. I found a 1000 yen ($10) on the ground and promptly gave it to my man to buy me some drinks. And he did! I like it also when men go to the bar and come back with drinks even its my money. Men in Japan don't buy drinks for women in bars, they buy drinks if they know you but buying a drink is not a way to pick up. Stumbling over on the street while drunk is however. My man wasn’t afraid to be publicly affectionate with me which Japanese people usually do not do more than hold hands in public, even if they are coupled and saying goodbye at a train station kissing on the lips is not something most Japanese feel comfortable doing in public. Cuddling in a park might as well be like fucking. My lover speaks Japanese and teaches me as we interact in our relationship. It is my mission to learn this language so I demand that we speak Japanese most of the time, even if it is hard to understand me. He does it because he knows it is super important to me and he is being in service, which is what I look for in a guy. These are the things that make the goddess feel happy.

You will HATE LIVING IN TOKYO and maybe all of Japan UNLESS you (cautionary tale NOT FOR tourists)

You will HATE living in Tokyo, and possibly all of Japan unless you…
LOVED HIGH SCHOOL, it was the best time of your life, you were popular or at least decently liked, you played sports and got recognition in the cool crowds, went to your prom with a good looking person and also got really good grades. JOINED A FRATERNITY OR SORORITY in college, did a hazing as part of entering this club and you loved that ritual, you still talk to all your sisters and brothers and think that this group was really one of the best things you ever did in your early adult life.
Basically, if you LOVE working in hierarchical groups and was a success in structured “in” and “out” crowds, you’ll do well in Japan, because it is a collective society to the max. If you were an outcast in school, a rebel or considered a loser in your country, Japan will just amplify that all over again for you in your current age. I feel like I am reliving the agony of high school at the age of 40. I graduated high school early after 3.5 years and never joined a sorority, never went to a football or any other sports game at my very famous college, but in my mind had a great college experience because it supported the outliers like me in ways that high school did not.
GO SKIING or DRINKING with at least 15 people. You never hang out alone. Alone? Pfft that’s for losers. If you love drinking, Japan is a drinking culture. It’s possibly the only drug that is accepted here and it is imbued in the culture, even a obligatory part of some jobs. My sister is a groupie. She is always taking social outing photos with 15+ smiling people. Me, on the other hand am always taking selfies or nature shots. Go figure. My sisters thinks I’m full of myself because I take selfies and don't have children. In Japan, i take these groupie shots at events that I attend, but these folks are not my friends. I found that out quickly after one meeting. You can have loads of these group photos but still feel totally alone in Japan.
DON’T SMOKE. In the 80s, when I used to come here as a child, smokers ruled Japan, but shit has changed a lot since then and now smokers have to smoke in small 10 x 10 cages outside the train stations and they aren’t allowed to smoke and walk or they will be fined. Your work might have a smoking telephone booth so that you don’t have an excuse to go downstairs to escape to smoke. Smoke your stick for 2 minutes and get back to your desk!
LOVE TRAFFIC. Not car traffic because no one drives in Tokyo, I’m talking about human traffic as in face to shoulder to cheek against glass with humans, getting crushed in a train until you can’t breath and never, ever complaining about it.
SPEAKING OF COMPLAINING, if you never complain, Japan is the place for you. They hate complaining here. Always have a positive outlook about anything that bothers you.
ARE A great employee. A PERFECT or NEAR PERFECT One. Never complain, always be on time, and NEVER EVER GET SICK.
DON’T HAVE TATTOOS. Tattoos are still socially banned in most work places, public baths and swimming pools, but of course tattooed covered me has found her way into onsens and other bath houses, but I do wear a long sleeve rash guard when I go swimming.
ARE A CONSERVATIVE TYPE A PERSONALITY. You like law and order. You like rules. You like decisions being made for you. You like routine. You stick to it. You are always on time. In Japan being on time is 10 minutes early. Showing skin as a female is socially forbidden. Very few women have the balls to do it.
ARE SKINNY, IN GOOD SHAPE and ABLE BODIED. Japan is difficult if you are disabled, fat or not able to climb at least 6 sets of stairs every day. This is what is required in your train commute if you take the train not to mention the walk to and from the stations. The society frowns upon not having the beauty standard 23” waist.

 Don’t let Naomi Watanabe fool you. Being fat is not really accepted here. You’ll find it hard to find clothes if you are above a size 7 US and over 5’11 as a man.
LOVE WEARING A FACE MASK. It’s a huge thing here. Surgical masks that cover 70% of your face are worn 6 months of the year to protect you from catching colds because you can never get sick at work.
Are an extrovert and a people watcher. There’s no shortage of people here in Tokyo. Just don’t expect them to talk to you or care about you. If you can imbue energy by having thousands of people pass you at high speeds whilst ignoring your existence type of extrovert then Tokyo is perfect for you. You can people watch by the millions in Shibuya and if this somehow gives you power then you’ll love it here, same with rush hour trains in the morning and the evening. You’ll watch people not look at you while you get packed into a train car by the dozens just like a clown car in a circus, except everyday as you commute to and from work. If you expect interaction, Japanese people aren’t really into talking to strangers, unless you are asking for directions, but beyond that you have to join an established social group to talk to strangers. Random convo on the street is rare, cashiers saying anything that is not scripted is also rare.  Introverts might like it here.  There is plenty of false social scenes, the kind where you are surrounded by people but don't have to interact.  Plenty of alone time if you need it. 

LOVE WEARING BLACK SUITS. This is the uniform here in Japan. Any color but black is actually socially frowned upon. Colored ties are considered edgy and usually not really recommended. Black suits everyday with a white shirt. Even in the blazing humidity, if your company is cool, you get to wear half sleeves in the summer.
LOVE BEING AN EMPLOYEE. Japan is the land of the salary man not the rising sun to contrary belief.. The salary man replaced the samurai after the demilitarization of WWII. I was a self employed sole proprietor for 10 years before coming to Japan and returning to the work force hustle was so difficult because I already knew that I was a terrible employee.

FML

I usually don’t wait for clients that don’t follow the steps of my booking procedure. It almost always ends up not being worth it. But, lately in Japan, I’ve not even had one client per month and the last client that I had cancelled at the last minute. They all expect you to be available now. This is true in LA as well, but in Tokyo, without a car its almost impossible to give any kind of instant gratification with the train system. Screening has become important to me since I got robbed 8 years ago at my house in LA, and since then the way that I screen and the fact that what i do is not escorting but something that calls in better seekers, it seems to have paid off. My life is not worth no $200 or even $500. I can’t even get excited about the potential ONE client on my Facebook anymore because they might fucking cancel at the last minute. Backpage seems to still be the main way that I can bring them in. I found another outlet, but I”m currently only in the free ad section until I can make some money to pay for a premium ad. Money is so fucking tight lately. I am working my ass off during the week as an English teacher and commuting on these Tokyo trains and waking up early and not smoking weed and being a good girl and STILL still I am not able to make ends meet. I am so fucking angry about this while trying to remain hopeful and calm. I have structured my life so that I can live well with just ONE client per month at $500. But, if I do not get this one client, my life is really really hard. You can probably imagine the difference $500 can make in a monthly budget. It shouldn’t even be like this. This shit is a fucking joke. In the U.S, I can make $1500 per week and see 7 clients a week if I work towards it. This what I did before I came back to Japan in October. Now however, I’m locked into a fucking weekly work week like every other worker in Japan who gets the same national holidays and the same weeks of vacation off. If you want to travel ANYWHERE during these national vacation periods, even within Japan it will cost you TRIPLE. So I feel trapped in Tokyo, a place that I am growing to despise. The city doesn’t really have any nature surroundings, except for some large parks and some concrete rivers that you can jog next to, but that gets old fast. Having this one client makes all the difference between whether I can count coins in my wallet to take the train or eat and drink well for the month. Having a BIG client for an extended hour session, the kind that i was getting when I was first working here will allow me to travel around the country, stay in nice hotels and feel LIKE A GODDESS AGAIN. One of my Facebook friends commented,”You’re such a goddess.” and I felt nothing but bitterness seeing that. I am totally spiritually and financially impoverished I can barely even do social media for the fear that I will just get on video and start to drink a bottle of wine and whine and cry on a LIVE video. I am not good at being normal. I never ever want to be a normal working person with a regular job. I’ve done it before, but the worst part of this all is that I can’t even afford to do basic things because I am not getting clients lately! So, if I have to not smoke weed everyday (there is none in Japan) and wear a fucking suit and get crushed to death in the rush hour trains of Tokyo and still NOT have enough money to enjoy a Starbucks and a chocolate chip cookie any day that I want then this is a fucking problem. I just pulled out 1000 (US $10) from my bank tonite. I”m going out. I live day to day to day. Spending this money plus the 600 yen of coins in my wallet will use all the money I have to my name, but if I don’t go out and do something minimally fun in Tokyo once per week...I am trying hard to make the best of the situation. I cannot believe that I am still playing out the same fucking poverty story that I have been living for years. But this time I’m not a sex worker, waiting for clients. I’m fucking working a normal job and still broke. WTF.

A Professional Octopus

“He’s a professional pussy licker.” Sure. I thought looking at him. I actually told him before we went into the room that I didn’t want to have sex with him. But in Japan no means yes, so saying anything short of pushing someone off a bed or out the door is probably seen as a “probably.” I could have been a little drunk off of wine or high from the endorphins of being suspended from the ceiling. I went to the bathroom after being released from my suspension and the cute guy in the dress and his ugly friend cornered me in the sex room. “We want you.” he said. I had let him put nipple clamps on me at the bar so I was feeling game. Game is different than horny. Game for me is something like, “Sure. Let’s see what you are working with.” I mostly wanted to mess around with him. His ugly friend was just Wingman for the night. Unfortunately. I told him to get the German guy from the bar and we were all going to have fun. I had never been with 3 guys before and I was into first time experiences once I crossed over a certain point, I wasn’t trying to do anything that I had done before. And I certainly did not. I had NEVER IN MY LIFE TO DATE, ALLLLLL THE SEX WORK I’VE EVER HAD in 7 years had such terrible, pathetic sex. All 3 of them were silent and inexperienced, passive and meek. I felt nothing of their penises inside me and the nerd octopus sucking on my pussy was no pro, he was a vampire and I had to ask him to stop. "A professional octopus is what you meant, I believe." I've had sex with 2 guys a few times as an escort, I've tried a DP with no success twice and now this. People think group sex with penis looks like it does on Red Tube, NEWS FLASH: IT USUALLY DOESN'T. As soon as the two guys came they ditched the sex room and went upstairs to have drinks back at the bar without a word to us. Now it was me and the German guy. He had a cock ring on and he was attempting to pound me but his cock wasn’t even inside of me and I had to remind him of that fact. It reminded me of one of my dear elder clients who I’d have great energy sex with because his cock was never inside me. “I think I must have fallen out.” he’d say. Well, you were never in so, you can’t fall out. But it was before I studied Tantra, we were having energy orgasms without penetration and that felt amazing actually. Much better than this crap of 3 tools that I danced with for about 45 minutes. Most of my time was talking to the German guy. He clearly wanted to date me but, you can NOT go from the worst sex of your life, to maybe we should hang out sometime and go to a movie. It just doesn’t happen. He walked me to the train station and tried to hold my hand and i pulled it away. I really wished he would just disappear and i could go home alone and process what disgusting slobber had invaded my body temple during this experiment of Japanese culture. In all my career of sex work, I always said that there was no bad sex if at least I got paid. I just got used as a cum rag and treated like a napkin so the fact that this one guy was trying to act cordial and chivalrous was just not helping. All you can do with the worst sex of your life from #1 is just hope that there is never a #2 time. You don’t date the person and work with them and hope that it will get better over the years. NO.

The "is something" happening bar?

Sometimes i get moved to be daring. It is often a spontaneous adventure spirit that just allows me to do a lot of the things that I have ever done in my life such as when I gogo danced on New Year’s Eve dressed as a Kabuki dancer on the pole they had at the club, or whenever I need fire power to go and do something I have never done before. For a while I have been mulling on the idea of going to a sex club in Tokyo and having some random and spontaneous interaction with some people there. You never know who it will be,but as a female the advantage of being daring is that you don’t have to pay to play because having a female who is willing and able in the club is the big reason why there are so many single men there in the first place. I was freer than usual which is not to say that I was horny, i really wasn’t more than usual. I have lately been quite celibate in Japan. Attaining connection in Tokyo for this purpose has been quite a challenge for me, so I’ve almost just relinquished myself to celibacy because there just simply has not been anyone who has approached me, those that have approached me have not qualified to my standards (they’ve been gruff or too drunk, or expect me to approach them first). I’m not looking for any old sex. I got bored of Tinder and how the guys on there talk to me, so I uninstalled that app. I decided casual sex on the internet wasn’t going to be fulfilling. That night, I went to a sports bar in Tokyo to watch some winter Olympics because I don’t own a TV. I sat for 2 hours at the bar, pretending to be glued to watching Curling ( a sport where teams of 3 people clean the ice for the path of a bowling ball) for an hour, looking at the bar, reflecting on my time attempting to be social in Japan, hating how things have been working for me here. The usual, no one talks to the single girl at the bar. Even in America, if someone I don’t like is talking to me, at least I feel that I have been able to check mark the social aspect of “going out and watching the game” mission. Happening bars in Japan have been the friendliest places for me. It is amazing to see and experience what I think is “normal” bar culture, which is that I am in a place where strangers will actually strike up a conversation with me. I went to the happening bar out of frustration with the 2 hours of silence at the Sports Bar. I had imagined doing exactly what I did this night many times in my mind. I doubt that it was really about the sex but more of penetrating the Japanese underground or interacting with Japanese people that was enticing to me. It was mainly for the experience and being open to whatever might or might not happen. I was actually unattached as I usually am, anytime I leave my house in Japan. I have gone to sex parties and often not had sex, and this is part of the fun. The overt possibility is there, unlike regular bars. I remember being propositioned by a decent a very sexual swinger couple visiting Japan and seeking me as a unicorn and I really wasn’t interested. I feel like Siddhartha lately, something like being too spiritually sexually woke and so disinterested in everything. I’m not exactly seeking to get laid, I was seeking connection, I think. But just like everything else in life, when you feel things are just right, you know it. I had a few drinks and put on a sexy cos play outfit from the wall of costumes that the bar has. I was surprised it actually fit me as I tend to be too L compared to the average Japanese woman, and often larger than the average Japanese man. One of the guys at the happening bar bar was cute to me he was wearing woman’s dress outfit that showed his cute ass. He was skinny and probably weighed the same as me, but likely 3 sizes down from me. “Look at your skinny little body.” I said, grabbing his waist on either side. He was doing some negotiations for his nerdy friend who was heavier with glasses, overweight and absolutely of no interest to me. “He’s a professional pussy licker,” he kept saying to me. I looked at his unattractive awkward friend and nodded and said nothing. (to be continued)

you can't have #metoo in a country where #nomeansyes

You can’t have a #metoo movement in Japan because it would include almost every woman and girl who has been touched by the portrayal of sexual violence or who has actually been touched by someone non consensually. #toomany Everything is underreported in Japan because shame is the gag that controls the people. Losing face, pride and making waves are all things that are not inherent in the culture. Sexual violence however is. The image of women being “seduced” by sea creatures goes back as far as Edo and it is made to look erotic. These animal/tentacle seductions carry over into both modern anime and hentai porn and can still be seen on Netflix in Japan right now. The scrolls of old have octopus and courtesan sex and one could poetically interpret this as symbolic to a degree but anime and hentai pretty much leave nothing up to the imagination and it would be like saying bukkake is symbolic as Butoh, but I doubt it. It is symbolic of the misogyny and disregard of the bodies, rights and safety of women and girls of Japan. And what about American porn? Yes, that too is symbolic of the sexism and misogyny of America and Western culture. Both are problematic but the U.S version is some twenty years ahead of Japan, U.S school girls and barely legals have to be 18 or older with a 2257 ID on file! This law is enforced more strictly and unanimously agreed upon than condom use. For those of us that walked on both soils we can fairly assess that the social consciousness of Japan has suffered greatly from being closed off for so long. They are resistant to multi-cultural identities and believe that it is easier to let the government dictate their lives versus make waves. Musical street performance and smoking weed are in the same category and can send you to jail for up to 1 month or even longer for violations of the existing laws around them. Resistance is in small pockets here. Suicide is one of the forms of Japanese resistance and it is one of the ways that people disrupt daily life here, but not for long. The steps that come before a subway or mass suicide go unnoticed and pushed out of sight and out of mind. Hushed away and pushed into the dark dirty rooms of the hikkikomori and the dying elderly. I watched a popular anime called Gantz, supposedly futuristic but clearly a reflection of the 1990s worldview of the Japanese artist and producers. The female character was beamed into existence and she was non consensually kissed by the first guy, taken to the back to be raped by another thug, rescued by the nice guy and then after her rescue sexually assaulted by a dog’s tongue, which she protested erotically to stimulate the viewers into arousal around her complete exploitation. A newer version of Gantz left out all of the aforementioned scenes, so I could fairly say that huge improvements had been made, but still nothing that resembled real strength or independence of thought. She still fell in love with the main character after knowing him for 15 minutes and died in the end fighting for the possibility of pairing up with him and her child.

Skip to another anime called “High School of the Dead” on netflix and it is a zombie genre that seems to rip off The Walking Dead except that all the female high school students in it are objectified with balloon like breasts falling out and gratuitous panty shots. I’ve seen the school girl fetish in Japan since I first got here, but I’d never seen it in full motion and watched how titillating it is designed to be. The average Japanese person does not seem to make the connection that sexualizing real high school teenagers portrayed in anime does not have real consequences for all of the actual female high school students who wear uniforms in Japan. But it does. The uniforms are not as sexy as they are portrayed and most of the young women are not as bubbly or full of falling cleavage as their counterparts. Japan doesn’t make the connection that allowing this portrayal is sexual violence, but they do take great pains to pixelate all the adult consensual porn scenes. The result is a misguided sex and repressed sexual culture. Because Japanese communication is indirect to the point of saying the opposite of what they mean to save face, this is one of the main formulas in Japanese porn. “No means yes” is about 90% of the sex that we see with Japanese women, she is protesting and saying “it hurts” “stop” “I can’t” and then she has a squirting orgasm to her own surprise! I have searched the internet for the very few Japanese women who are actually a FUCK YES, FUCK NOW, FUCK HARD. It is a rarity but there are a small few Moe Oishii is one of the few I can watch. Do a search for her. She's a Japanese porn revolutionary just because she never says no.