LOVED HIGH SCHOOL, it was the best time of your life, you were popular or at least decently liked, you played sports and got recognition in the cool crowds, went to your prom with a good looking person and also got really good grades. JOINED A FRATERNITY OR SORORITY in college, did a hazing as part of entering this club and you loved that ritual, you still talk to all your sisters and brothers and think that this group was really one of the best things you ever did in your early adult life.
Basically, if you LOVE working in hierarchical groups and was a success in structured “in” and “out” crowds, you’ll do well in Japan, because it is a collective society to the max. If you were an outcast in school, a rebel or considered a loser in your country, Japan will just amplify that all over again for you in your current age. I feel like I am reliving the agony of high school at the age of 40. I graduated high school early after 3.5 years and never joined a sorority, never went to a football or any other sports game at my very famous college, but in my mind had a great college experience because it supported the outliers like me in ways that high school did not.
GO SKIING or DRINKING with at least 15 people. You never hang out alone. Alone? Pfft that’s for losers. If you love drinking, Japan is a drinking culture. It’s possibly the only drug that is accepted here and it is imbued in the culture, even a obligatory part of some jobs. My sister is a groupie. She is always taking social outing photos with 15+ smiling people. Me, on the other hand am always taking selfies or nature shots. Go figure. My sisters thinks I’m full of myself because I take selfies and don't have children. In Japan, i take these groupie shots at events that I attend, but these folks are not my friends. I found that out quickly after one meeting. You can have loads of these group photos but still feel totally alone in Japan.
DON’T SMOKE. In the 80s, when I used to come here as a child, smokers ruled Japan, but shit has changed a lot since then and now smokers have to smoke in small 10 x 10 cages outside the train stations and they aren’t allowed to smoke and walk or they will be fined. Your work might have a smoking telephone booth so that you don’t have an excuse to go downstairs to escape to smoke. Smoke your stick for 2 minutes and get back to your desk!
LOVE TRAFFIC. Not car traffic because no one drives in Tokyo, I’m talking about human traffic as in face to shoulder to cheek against glass with humans, getting crushed in a train until you can’t breath and never, ever complaining about it.
SPEAKING OF COMPLAINING, if you never complain, Japan is the place for you. They hate complaining here. Always have a positive outlook about anything that bothers you.
ARE A great employee. A PERFECT or NEAR PERFECT One. Never complain, always be on time, and NEVER EVER GET SICK.
DON’T HAVE TATTOOS. Tattoos are still socially banned in most work places, public baths and swimming pools, but of course tattooed covered me has found her way into onsens and other bath houses, but I do wear a long sleeve rash guard when I go swimming.
ARE A CONSERVATIVE TYPE A PERSONALITY. You like law and order. You like rules. You like decisions being made for you. You like routine. You stick to it. You are always on time. In Japan being on time is 10 minutes early. Showing skin as a female is socially forbidden. Very few women have the balls to do it.
ARE SKINNY, IN GOOD SHAPE and ABLE BODIED. Japan is difficult if you are disabled, fat or not able to climb at least 6 sets of stairs every day. This is what is required in your train commute if you take the train not to mention the walk to and from the stations. The society frowns upon not having the beauty standard 23” waist.
LOVE WEARING A FACE MASK. It’s a huge thing here. Surgical masks that cover 70% of your face are worn 6 months of the year to protect you from catching colds because you can never get sick at work.
Are an extrovert and a people watcher. There’s no shortage of people here in Tokyo. Just don’t expect them to talk to you or care about you. If you can imbue energy by having thousands of people pass you at high speeds whilst ignoring your existence type of extrovert then Tokyo is perfect for you. You can people watch by the millions in Shibuya and if this somehow gives you power then you’ll love it here, same with rush hour trains in the morning and the evening. You’ll watch people not look at you while you get packed into a train car by the dozens just like a clown car in a circus, except everyday as you commute to and from work. If you expect interaction, Japanese people aren’t really into talking to strangers, unless you are asking for directions, but beyond that you have to join an established social group to talk to strangers. Random convo on the street is rare, cashiers saying anything that is not scripted is also rare. Introverts might like it here. There is plenty of false social scenes, the kind where you are surrounded by people but don't have to interact. Plenty of alone time if you need it.
LOVE WEARING BLACK SUITS. This is the uniform here in Japan. Any color but black is actually socially frowned upon. Colored ties are considered edgy and usually not really recommended. Black suits everyday with a white shirt. Even in the blazing humidity, if your company is cool, you get to wear half sleeves in the summer.
LOVE BEING AN EMPLOYEE. Japan is the land of the salary man not the rising sun to contrary belief.. The salary man replaced the samurai after the demilitarization of WWII. I was a self employed sole proprietor for 10 years before coming to Japan and returning to the work force hustle was so difficult because I already knew that I was a terrible employee.
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