Cardi and Bill C?

People are so quick to crucify...and slay people with

inaccurate accusations that can be so damn hurtful.  Bill Cosby was a serial rapist,
a billionaire by then from his #1 show The Cosby Show.  If the 80s
weren’t the time
of certain Black entertainer dominance in the shadow of corruption then the
power Cardi B felt in her millenial
rockstar/new stripper energy period (NSE!)
was definitely no different.  
These are men and women 19-27 super
hot, just woke up like that and for the first time WAKING UP to the sexual power that
goes with that body and that period of your life.  Cardi B is still mad young to me but
when she was robbing and sexually assaulting dudes she was even younger than her
current age, with even less positive guidance
about how to act. Comparing Cardi B to Bill Cosby is
hurtful because it equates the imbalance of power felt by men and women of color

as equal.  I watched real Cardi B videos where she calls herself “stripper hoe”
and “prostitute” so her sex work is on the table even if she recently is trying to
say that she isn’t a sex worker, doesn’t have herpes, and one other alleged/false
accusation. I’m not sure what her STD status is, I do know she was/is a sex worker.  
When she talked about robbing and raping guys on her selfie videos, I can tell you from
experience about the at risk “outcall bitch life” cuz I lived it for 6 or more long years in LA.

Cardi B is a whore revolutionary making money and dreams come

true by any.means.necessary.

I use to live by this mantra as well...until I uncovered the anger, pain

and hurt underneath my tough bitch facade and started to work from

that place instead.  My life changed. My clients changed.  

My entire purpose changed.  

Like me, Cardi B has changed since she made her various videos.  

She says she wasn’t proud of what she had done, but at the same

time she says that the men were “willing and conscious” when she

was drugging them and that is just not true.    Whore revolutionary

is Kali and needs to listen to reason from NO MAN.  I get her. I was her.

But even on the streets there is a line.  People who get the reputation of

“crazy” and people who prefer to keep to certain principles.  Thou shalt

not kill, thou shalt not rape.  Unless, your life is being threatened.  And

this last line can be interpreted in various ways depending on where

you are in the trauma recovery scale.  Sex Work teaches you to create

harder lines around what you will and won’t do, and calculate the risk

fee and add it to the take home.  It is unclear to me if she was just drugging

and assaulting random men she met at the stripclub,

or ALSO her ex boyfriends that cheated on her. The video

that I've seen, talks about guys from the club.

 If it was her clients then the game she was playing was making

the streets that much more dangerous for the women who worked around her. For some

reason, at the time, Cardi didn't

feel like she could make cash by just being Cardi B

and had to go the extra mile and drug and rob the dude.

Women who did this usually were just so adamant about

NOT FUCKING clients that they would go to elaborate

lengths like this to NOT have sex so they could NOT be

mistaken for prostitutes. There is a strong belief

for a lot of strippers that stripping is something

better than full insertion sex work. I know I believed

this when I was a stripper in a club.

There was enough social media backlash to make her

think about this action and change it if she wishes to really

grow as an artist and person.

Being straight forward helps contribute to

enjoying your work (because work is safer and happier).

Having a threesome with a transgender sex worker sounds like an elaborate

thing to do to a client, and sounds more like an ex boyfriend hustle than

anything, and yes, I call it sexual assault. If these men were her clients, there
is no excuse to actually offend first, from whatever position you are in society.
 It’s not necessary for my goal achievment.

But people's goals are different.
Was she trying to be "gangsta"
or was she fundraising for her studio time? This level of violence
falls in the gangster category, as gangsta bitches are more crazy
than strippers and hoes. And stripper hoes. Gangstas have
a different set of rules. Prison yard rules for the prison
yard bound. Prison yard rules for the IDGAFs.
To stay alive you have to start giving a fuck.
You even start to care about people around you.
Having each other's back's is revolutionary.
Staying alive is whore revolutionary.
By any means neccesary was defensive
not offensive.

I did work where

at the last minute the strippers we were with had to inform the guy that the $250

that they just paid was just to cover us showing up and not actually staying.   

Sometimes, drivers would collect $800 from a group of guys and inform them

of the same thing.  Then we’d be running from this angry mob of bros trying to

get their money back.  It was pretty awful but regularly occurring because we

were the ones lying and scamming not them.  Premeditated drugging definitely is in the

land of Cosby, but their circumstances are so different.

Cosby wasn't in fear of his life when he was drugging his victims.

Cosby was at the top of his career and life.

Cardi was clawing her way out of the gutter

using ghetto survival tactics.

The odds weren't stacked against Cosby in a ride or die

economy. Bill Cosby's victims probably didn't have guns or

pit bulls or both.

They're as different as Jello and asshole, the ignorance is astounding.
But Cardi doesn't get a pass from me, and I believe that the
whore revolution doesn't involved cutthroat gangster actions
against the very men that feed us. But, it requires empathy
for those of us who have walked
the not always so glamorous path of self
determination.

#itwasme #metoo

My earliest memories of violating someone’s consent were at the age of 5. I would chase this boy named Kent around the kindergarten and kiss him in front of everyone who laughed in glee at my antics. Even the teacher did not stop me. I think I even kissed this boy for show and tell one day. Perhaps because he never stood up to me, I could be seen as a bully. He never stood up for himself, he was clearly non consensual and not enjoying or reciprocating my affection. I was absolutely in the wrong and yet everyone allowed this to go on because I was a little girl predator initiating a chase on my little boy prey and not vice versa. So cute! Also, this was 1981, schools today have millenials as teachers and there would likely be a lesson on consent attached to this teachable moment squeezed in with the phonics of the day. A-A-apple, B-B-boy, C-C-consent! Fast forward to one night when I was working as an escort in LA. I was actually finishing up with a male client when I got a call from a female, flirtatious and asking if I could come by. My bisexual libido was aroused because it is so rare to get calls from women. I gave her the normal run down of my rate and she gave me her address. I threw up a peace sign to John while laughing and we joked about how much fun I was going to be having in the next hour. I drove from that client’s apartment far and deep into the San Fernando Valley. It probably took me about an hour to get to her house. When I arrived, she was noticeably drunk. There are no rules about sober consent in the sex work game for male or female clients because more than 50% of our clients are not sober, and because sex work, especially the way that I did it often followed the rules of the street, if the client made a call, they would either pay or play. My normal routine was to collect money before starting. I put my bag down while she looked at me from the couch seductively. “Can I get $250 from you please?” Her seductive eyes turned innocent and she put her finger on her cheek. “$250?” she laughed and moved closer to me. “What are you talking about?” She moved in to kiss me. I returned her passion. It was hot. I love women and women like this know this. I had spent the entire hour driving to her house thinking about how much fun it would be to fuck her even though I’d not seen her face, I was sure by the sound of her voice that she knew what she wanted and that alone was sexy enough for me given that women barely ever initiate booking of services from sex workers. When this happens, it happens about once a year and I am always more than happy to oblige with off the clock extras, kissing (i don’t usually kiss male clients) and whatever I feel like doing. I have a completely different attitude that I have with most female clients because they are like hitting gold in the sea of johns. I pulled my face away from her. “So you called me all the way over here and you don’t have any money?” I said, suddenly coming to my senses and realizing her manipulative tactics. She said nothing but kept trying to kiss me. “Who is going to pay for my time and gas?” I said pushing her gently back to the couch she was sitting on. “Don’t be mad.” she said. “Can we go back to your place and just have fun?” she said reaching for a bottle of some liquor in a green bottle. “Why can’t we just stay here?” I asked sitting next to her. “I have a roomate and she’s a fucking bitch. C’mon.” she said sliding her leg between mine. “Let’s get out of here.” At that moment, I punched out of my self employed work clock and decided that I would just fuck her for free because getting paid was going to be icing on the cake and admittedly I was feeling pretty typical “guy like” in my conquest of her body. I was going to get this pussy whether she paid me or not. She initiated my desire, after all, she would have to pay in cash or something else, I remember thinking. I drove her back to my house in LA from the Valley, another 45 minutes and rolled around in my bed with all my toys and lube and then I remember her passing out and kind of not reciprocating suddenly. I took that as a sign that she wanted to go to sleep so I pulled her naked body close to mine and went to sleep. 2 hours later at 5am before the sun rose, I felt her texting someone and then twenty minutes later rise suddenly and throw on her clothes and walk quietly down the stairs. She was clearly trying to sneak out, so I let her. I heard someone in a car pick her up and I just allowed her to go without speaking because I knew the routine as I’ve done it to many men before. That morning, however, I was that guy. It was me. I knew I fucked up but I didn’t really think too much of it actually because I felt justified in my actions still. She called me 2 days later with noticeable regret in her voice. “I-I don’t know what really happened that night. I was really really drunk. I just need to know if you have any STDs or anything.” she asked. I told her I had oral herpes and I could hear her soul just crumble. “But, I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.” I said recounting the sex acts that we did. That phone conversation and the awkward morning was the last time I would have sex with a drunk girl who was falling all over my libido. I learned that the morning after phone call from a devastated woman who felt violated was not one I ever wanted to have again. I learned about alcoholic blackout behavior through web research, how a black out means that the person has lost consciousness but is not necessarily passed out on the floor. I always thought that a blackout meant that they were passed out, not gone from being conscious in their mind. Blacked out people can get into fights with loved ones, assault people, damage property, drive cars and worse without their own body and mind’s consent and take everyone around them on a non consenting destructive ride with them if these people are not aware of the signs of this behavior. The key is that they do not and will not remember the details of the black out. I forgive myself, I really truly did not know any of this until after this night. And since the bisexual libido in me was actually something of a dude aching to get his dick sucked, until he like Aziz grew up through learning through terrible experiences what the consequences of his conquest mindset could actual be an act of violence. She was also guilty in this and hopefully will have also learned from her behavior. This is where the shades of gray come into play. No perfect victim, no perfect predator. What is required is willingness to learn, correct and forgive in copious amounts so that we can all get the sex we desire and feel absolutely good about it the morning after, a year or even a decade after.