But I PAID YOU!

Yesterday, I pulled a client off of okcupid who was obviously

wanting me to come to his hotel room and hook up and since

my financial situation is terrible, I've been pretty straight forward

about needing money really badly since my job as an English

teacher suddenly lost income from several students quitting

at the same time which used to have a more than full schedule,

now had decreased to half, which meant half the income I

usually get did not afford me the ability to even pay rent this month.

 I had to do a small fundraiser on Facebook, which was successful

to my surprise.  Yesterday, this guy offered a pitiful amount to

come to his hotel, a 4 star business hotel in a nice area of Tokyo.

I was about to go jogging but after initially messaging, he was

like, "run over here instead."  LOL. Right away! Here I come sir! NOT.

 If you pay me I'd go there...I thought out loud.  I asked for my

usual rate, but he offered something skimpy instead.  I wasn't in a

position to say no.  BUT, the reason I did it was because I saw that he

was fairly attractive and if you look at this blog in my full time escort

days, I often did what I called "reverse escorting jobs" for a stipend

with people that I enjoyed fucking or there was some other benefit that

I could get aside from their cash.  I am dating occasionally a guy who

because of his depression is not feeling like having sex.  We're

not monogamous but aside from that I don't normally have a lot of sex

or date in Japan. It’s like a less virile form of being an INCEL

(involuntary celibate).  It's been a hard place for me in this department.  

I had just masturbated that morning thinking exactly that I wanted to

suck someone’s dick again.  My defunct lover has a wonderful

cock and I miss it in my mouth...but alas, since he is not able to

fulfill me then I have already made an agreement with him to seek

my needs elsewhere.  Also, he understands that I work and that's such

an important quality in potential boyfriends.  Work, however, doesn't

usually ever replace intimacy between real life bonds, this is why it

0should not ever be seen as a threat.  

I enter his hotel room and he is decent looking.  I set up my Tantra temple

because Tantra is the easiest way to develop a spiritual chemical bond

between two strangers.  Candles, incense, eye gazing.  These are the

elements of connection to being anything, if it is to happen.  I massage him

and honor his body from head to toe.  Eventually I get to sucking his dick.

 It’s fun.  He gets to start to finger me and then stops!  He says,”well, the

fact that I have to do this is turning me off actually.  I know it’s selfish.

 I’m sorry.  But I thought that since I paid you…”

Okay STOP.  I tried to continue to touch him and he corrected me on

how to touch him, which was fine, i’m open to correction, but I was touching

him more to relax myself into a calm so I wouldn’t become angry at his

selfish comment.  In my eyes, if this were to be a cheap sex work

transaction, he MUST satisfy me too.  And if not, then oh well, I earn

what he was giving me with just the massage and nothing else.  He kept

trying to go inside me right away, sans foreplay or making my pussy wet.

I knew it wasn’t going to work.  Especially now that I was disgusted with

his comments and personality.  “Yeah, actually, I’m done now.” I said.

“I’d like to stop here.”  He said he wasn’t offended.  That was part of the

deal anyway, somewhat non obligatory hooking up if we felt MUTUALLY  

interested in doing that.  And, yeah, i wasn’t going to sit there and give him

a $500 goddess worshipping if he was going to prove to be unworthy

in every form.  He kept trying to get rid of me while I was still standing

there.  “Alright.  Thanks for coming by.”  he was saying as I was putting

my sweater on and checking his room to make sure I had collected all

my props.  At one point, I remember saying, “Can you just wait a second?”

 I took a 2 minute shower without asking.  I never ask clients.

I feel entitled to wash up if we have had sexual activity.

A whore bath to wash off his energy.  I left, one bill heavier than I came in.

 I wasn’t going to let him in my sacred temple.  He didn’t deserve me.  I

already gave him way more than his money's worth in my eyes. And I

didn't even resort to being the old me, the real Jenna Bie of the old days,

the one that wreaked havok on those that felt entitled for $100.