I been listening to a lot of Cardi B lately. She's my new favorite get pumped on female sex goddess energy. She's a 25 year old stripper hoe rapper, the new Lil Kim talking about money, stripping, fighting and working in sex work from nothing to something. I can definitely relate to that. Of course, she makes stripping seem all glamorous and fun when in reality, those of us who have stripped know very well it's not all money bag, money bag, money bags every night. Some nights it's nothing but cigarette smoke and empty ass chairs. Staring at the ceiling full of cob webs. Dancing to no one out there. The 20s are a good time in retrospect. You have the best body you'll ever have and the feeling of being a new sex worker is such an unbeatable high that you will never have again, I know where she is in her life and I'm able to reminsce without jealousy cuz I know how hard knock the life is that comes with that money, sex, and supposed power. I remember feeling the pressure of wanting to get out stripping most of the time that I was even in it. And what did I do after that? I became an escort for 6 years.
Truth be told, I didn't have anyone make it rain on me BIG MONEY until I became an escort. I made double as an agency escort that I did as a stripper. I made $10,000 one time from a dude who paid me $1000 for every line of cocaine that I could snort with him. At the time, I didn't do coke with clients. Or at all really. And that was sort of the beginning of the 6 year run of more sex, money, drugs and danger for me in Los Angeles. I never got addicted to anything, but I did have a continuous bought with trauma and danger that I am really glad that I got out with so little long term damage or death. Escorting was much much more volatile and profitable than my 3 years in the San Francisco stripclub ever was. But, SF started it all and that Cardi B feeling like money bag, money bag, money bags is possibly the best high a girl can ever have. I was 22 when I became a sex worker through stripping and I was untouchable for a while. An adrogynous baby punk who never identified as sexy in the same way after the first $160 I made my first night stripping led to a 20 year career doing various things in the industry. Fast forward to 2018. This was the year that I was tired of working my 5 day a week job in Tokyo and I couldn't get an in into the sex industry here, so I just decided to go to a different country and try my luck where to be blunt, there were more white guys that would think I was the most exotic thing and hopefully profit off that like I did when I was in the U.S I remember listening to Cardi B before deciding to charge the whole trip on my credit card, including the hotel that I would work at and the ad that I placed. This was my usual formula for touring and profiting and it was usually at least a break even deal. My first few days in Sydney had no clients, and the days to come were going to be scraping by in scarcity, living off of my credit card and the "generosity" of dudes that I met off of the ok cupid dating site. One guy invited me to stay at his house by the beach, and just didn't really know how to communicate well enough to get me in bed with him. He always had different women at his house, or his 7 year old son so it was really strange that I'm sure he expected us to fuck but he didn't really have a clear space to do this or to get me to even feel like "paying him back." He ended up dumping my luggage at the bottom of the stairs on the 3rd day and I had to ask a guy at the busstop to pay my way to the station because money was really that bad that I did not have A SINGLE DOLLAR in cash to even pay for the bus ride. This ordeal was a reminder or my old traumatic life of risk and hustle. This is what people don't know about fast money in, there's a shit ton of risk to get it and it often goes out as fast as it goes in. Dude invited me to his nice beach house and kicked me out in the worst way just as fast. I ended up getting hosted by some friends on FB who I'd met in Tokyo months earlier that I didn't think were really going to be so nice, but from there it was just all healing and soothing. I was so grateful. My new couch hostess gave me enough weed to smoke for the week that I could heal my wounds from being dumped on the street and not making the money I thought I might make re-entering the sex industry. I had landed a few shifts in a massage parlor, which was really a brothel, but I didn't get a single fucking client. Just a few guys who I did introductions with but no one picked me, which is basically what I remember about brothel life, watching lots of TV and waiting to be picked. I think in retrospect it was good that I survived everything without really getting hurt or losing too much money although I am still paying that credit card bill now. Here's me on the cover of a SF magazine lookin like money bags in my 20s. 20 years later, I can reflect on an entire career in this industry, working with men, men, men for so long it truly surprised me that I moved to Japan and had the results that I did with my attractiveness. I can say it's because you can't stay hot forever, and I guess it's true, certainly you can't stay hot in the same way you were in your 20s, but I'm happy at 42.5 to have survived so much to tell you about. 
